America is Falling as the American Family Falls

“…for the first time (in 2014) the number of unmarried American adults outnumbered those who were married.”                                                                                            —  Christian Science Monitor

 

As the 2020 election approaches, political candidates and media pundits continually decry the various problems facing modern America. Whether it be the rising crime rates in so many American cities, the loss of American jobs overseas, the loss of earning power for the average middle class family, indicators of national decline are pervasive. The battle cry from the right during the 2016 election was “Make America Great Again”, acknowledging a loss of previous American greatness. Though the left did not like the GOP candidate, they would agree with the sentiment of something missing in America. People want to believe a political leader with some kind of economic plan can fix the problem, but that just won’t happen. The truth is that the decline in

 

Marriage in America is on the decline and is having devastating effects on individuals, families and America. The traditional marriage ceremony includes “till death do us part,” but many couples today never make it this far, instead cohabitating, or living together, in a non-marital sexual relationship.

 

American greatness is directly tied to the decline in the American family, and strong families are the only hope. Let me explain.

First, irrefutable statistics prove the steep decline of the American family during the past few decades. A 2015 article entitled “Singles Nation, Why so many Americans are unmarried” offered the following: “In 1950, married couples represented 78 percent of households in the United States. In 2011, the US Census Bureau reported that the percentage had dropped to 48 percent”. This same article noted: “only 30 percent of Millennials say that having a successful marriage is ‘one of the most important things’ in life, according to the Pew Research Center, down from even the 47 percent of Generation X who said the same thing in 1997. Four in 10 Americans went even further, telling Pew researchers in 2010 that marriage was becoming obsolete.”

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife…”

The number of Americans cohabitating without marrying has grown exponentially. The number of non-married couples bearing children increased a whopping 1000% in the past decade! Yes, a ten-fold increase in 10 years! Almost half of American children are now born out of wedlock. Around 45% of the dwindling number of marriages will end in divorce. The fertility rate among American women has fallen well below replacement levels. Where the average number of children born to a woman in the 1950s was 3.7, that number had shrunk to 1.76 by 2017 as reported by Vox. During the ten year period of steep decline in marriage, the legal definition was expanded to include same-sex marriage. Based on the above, this decision has further accelerated the decline of marriage over non-marital co-habitation.

“…children raised by single parents are, on average, far more likely to drop out of high school, become incarcerated, and require government assistance than children raised by both a mother and father within wedlock.”

This disintegration of the American family has had wide-ranging effects on all aspects of American life. According to Stephanie Hanes: “American society is in the midst of a fundamental social and demographic shift, the ‘greatest social change of the past 60 years that we haven’t already named and identified,’ according to New York University sociologist Eric Klinenburg… It is a shift that goes beyond dynamics of relationships, affecting everything from housing and health care to child rearing and churches.” I would add that the statistical evidence is clear that children raised by single parents are, on average, far more likely to drop out of high school, become incarcerated, and require government assistance than children raised by both a mother and father within wedlock.

The dynamic of society falling apart with the disintegration of the family is nothing new to history. According to Christopher DeGroot: “In Sex and Culture, his study of 80 primitive tribes and six civilizations during 5000 years of history, J.D. Unwin explains a remarkably consistent pattern: as societies become prosperous, they eventually become liberal in regard to sexuality, and steep cultural decline invariably follows. Says Unwin, ‘Any human society is free to choose either to display great energy or to enjoy sexual freedom; the evidence is that it cannot do both for more than one generation’… Meanwhile, here in America sexuality has never been so unrestrained, just as male authority and leadership have never been regarded with such insidiousness, suspicion, and resentment.”

The decline of Christianity during the same period has been equally stark. According to Pew research, 78% of

 

 

Americans identified as Christians in 2007 (this down from over 90% only a few decades before), but this number went down below 71% by 2017. The number of those identifying as “nones” for religion, particularly among the Millennials, grew exponentially the past decade. The prevailing American consensus of Biblical values of marriage, sexuality, and morality has ended as the families have disintegrated. With this change, deep divisions in politics over moral and values issues that were once held by both major political parties is the result.

“For America to become great again, the American family must be put back together again.”

For America to become great again, the American family must be put back together again. We must demand political leaders do everything possible, within policy-making, to further marriage and strong families. Churches must speak out about the importance of families, including Biblical values promoting lifelong commitment within marriage. All current economic plans and political agendas not save America unless the family structure is rebuilt.

In Chapter 24, verse 15 of the Book of Joshua, Joshua is facing an existential threat to the Hebrew nation he leads. The danger is the potential for the Hebrew people to lose their culture and identity by following the wicked practices of the surrounding peoples as they settle in Canaan. Joshua is the national leader, yet declares: “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord’.

The only hope for the Hebrew people was that strong individual families would survive, and thereby the nation would survive. America must follow this example, and put our hope on individual families as the basis of our nation. Family is the future.

 

Bill Connor, is an Orangeburg, S.C. attorney, Army Infantry Colonel and author of the book “Articles from War.”